I See Your Point

(Earlier in the day Frank heard his grandson say into the phone “don’t let your mouth write a check that your butt can’t cash.” Frank likes that! He’s going to use it. Later, while sitting in the park with his friend Sam, Frank tries to use the phrase. But he hasn’t gotten it quite right.)

Sam

They keep sending me gloves, calendars, birthday cards. They’re always asking for money.

Frank

Don’t cash a check with your butt.

(Sam turns, bewildered.)

Sam

What did you say to me?

Frank

I said ‘don’t cash a check with your butt’.

Sam

Why would you say something like that to me? What does it mean? My BUTT?

Frank

I think you’re in over your head. That’s all it means.

Sam

I’m gonna have to remember that.

‘Don’t cash a check with your butt’.

Frank

(reflecting) Maybe it’s ‘don’t let your butt write a check. don’t let your butt write a check? don’t let your butt write a check.’

Sam

Stop saying that! Now all I can picture is someone with a pen sticking out of their butt, trying to write a check!

Frank

I think that’s what my grandson meant. Don’t write checks with your ass. That makes sense, right?

Sam

(thinks about it a moment)

Of course.

Frank

Yeah. Don’t write a check with your butt. No. Don’t LET YOUR BUTT write a check.

Sam

Don’t let your butt write a check. It means…?

Frank

It means you’re in over your head. Don’t let your butt write a check, you’re in over your head.

Sam

Don’t let your butt write a check, you’re in over your head.

Frank

That’s right.

Sam

Like I need another calendar.